Friendships That Fail After Drug Addiction Treatment

Because drug and alcohol addiction is so all-encompassing, the relationships that stick through the ordeal tend to be enabling relationships, that is, friends and family members who either help us to continue addictive behavior or those people who we use with. This can be a problem when we return home after drug rehab and attempt to figure out how to live without drugs in a place where we used to define our lives by drug and alcohol addiction, surrounded by people who know us by our addiction.

Can You Go Home After Drug Rehab?

The truth is, it’s different for everyone. First of all, not everyone has a “home” to return to. You may go back to a town or city you called home, but essentially, you will have to rebuild your life from the ground up, starting with finding a home and a job. Others have a family waiting for them, and the stress of the expectations they may have as well as the guilt that comes with knowing you’ve hurt people you love with your addiction can make the idea of returning home bittersweet. Still others may have no other goal in mind but to go to a new place and start over completely where no one knows about their drug and alcohol addiction history. In order to postpone returning home until they feel more ready, many choose sober living after a successful stay at drug rehab because the stress is too threatening to their ability to remain clean and sober.

Running Into Friends You Use to Drink and Use Drugs With After Drug Rehab

Staying clean and sober with liquor stores on every corner and the phone number of your connection still in your cell phone is hard enough. The drug cravings that occur when you are without the structure and safety of drug and alcohol rehab can be even harder. But when you return home only to have people coming over to your house and offering you exactly what you’re trying to stay away from, it’s almost impossible to stay clean and sober for long if you don’t take care of the situation immediately.

Here is a three-step process that will help you handle it if your friends come over and don’t respect your wishes that they leave their drugs at home:

• Let everyone know that you’re trying to stay clean. Make it common knowledge. Most people will respect this and stay away until they’re doing better as well. But if they don’t….

• Be polite but firm and ask them to leave if they show up under the influence, try to use in front of you or offer you anything. Make it clear that you’re not being judgmental but that you need to steer clear of all drugs and alcohol for awhile. And if that doesn’t work….

• Don’t be afraid to be rude. They’re being disrespectful to you by using in front of you. This is a life or death journey you’re on and to so blatantly flaunt their drug use when you are in such a vulnerable situation and in your house is unacceptable. Tell them so and make them leave.

Other than that, the best you can do is avoid the spots where you know people will be using and prepare yourself with the knowledge that your life is going to change in more ways than one. Friendships are just one thing that will change as you start a life without drugs but it can be one of the most difficult. Make use of your support system and try to rekindle old friendships with clean and sober people that you lost while you were using.

How do you handle it when you see people who are using when you’re trying to stay clean?

Recently, an individual with a Vicodin addiction relayed the following harrowing story about his experience trying to buy Vicodin online via an Internet pharmacy.

Having purchased Vicodin and OxyContin online in the past, this individual (who will be referred to as “Paul”) had his name and phone number on the call lists of several online drug suppliers.

One day, Paul got a call from one of the companies offering him 90 Vicodin ES for $400 shipped via overnight carrier no questions asked.

It was a lot of money, but Paul needed the pills.  His other online vendor had recently closed up shop and hadn’t been heard from in weeks.

Paul was suspicious, as always, of the “hard sell” attitude of this new pharmacy, but his mind was put as ease when they told him that he could simple pay COD when the medication arrived.  If the package didn’t come, or wasn’t what he wanted when it arrived, he could simply send it back and keep his money.

It seemed to be a no-risk situation, so Paul placed his order.  He was told to expect the package in two days, so he went down to the bank and purchased a cashier’s check for $400.

The days passed and Paul’s order didn’t arrive.  He tried to call the company several times, but was unable to make contact.  He was disappointed, and stressed because his supply of Vicodin would soon run out, but at least he didn’t LOSE any money.

Then, a week later, he got a call from the pharmacy.  They told him that there had been some problems with the FDA and that they could no longer process C.O.D. orders.   The representative told Paul however, that if he was willing to send a wire transfer via Western Union that they could arrange for the package to arrive the next evening.

This event gave Paul pause.    He didn’t have a relationship with this company, and for the most part, once money has gone through a Western Union transfer (especially to the Dominican Republic as the company had requested) there is no way to get it back.  But Paul was almost out of Vicodin, dreading the inevitable withdrawal symptoms when he ran out and willing to take the chance.

He sent the money and immediately could not track down the company.  He was in a panic for two days when the representative finally called him.  They explained that the wrong package was sent out and was being held at an undisclosed location.  There were actually over 300 pills in the order instead of the original 90.   As a way to “make good” on the problem, the rep said that if Paul would wire another $300 to the company he could have ALL the pills at a low price.

Now all kinds of warning bells were going off in Paul’s head.  This had to be a scam, right?  But the customer service rep swore up and down that it was legitimate - and that he SO appreciated the faith he had put in them and that he knew full well how important this medication was to him.

Again yes, once again, Paul trusted them and sent the money.  He had now spent $700 plus the Western Union fees.  He waited for his package the next day.

But the next day came and went and no Vicodin arrived.  Paul called and called but could reach nobody at the company.  He left kind messages and rude messages.  He simply BEGGED for someone to contact him!

Then he received a remarkable call.  An “FBI Agent” called Paul and told him that his package had been confiscated and that he was placing charges.  Paul was terrified.  The agent said he was going to jail.  Then, almost by accident, Paul looked at the phone number on the caller ID.  The area code and prefix seemed so familiar….and then it hit him.  This was a representative of the pharmacy!   They never planned to give him his medication - and this was their out.

Paul began to notice all kinds of holes in the agent’s story.  He couldn’t mention what department he worked for or provide a badge number.  Paul decided to play along for a bit.   Then the “agent” delivered the final insult:  he told Paul that all charges would be dropped if he could send a Western Union of $3,800 to settle his case out of court.  The only other choice was jail.

So not only had these people stolen $700 from him, they had the gaul to run another flimsy scam hoping to prey upon his fear of going to jail and never seeing his family again.

Once Paul had heard enough he hung up. He had lost his money and his dignity and that was enough for one day.

Have you had a similar experience?  Let us know.  And if you’re struggling with Vicodin addiction, contact a drug rehab program in your area and get the help you need today.

When a parent develops an alcohol or drug addiction, kids often bear much of the fallout.  They feel the stress of the situation much more deeply than anyone can imagine, and as such, individuals in addiction recovery need to talk openly and honestly with the children in order to help them heal as well.

The following represent a series of tips for talking to your kids about your addiction and your recovery.

• Make sure they know that it wasn’t their fault.  Children tend to blame themselves for parental crises, so it is important to make it very clear to them that they had nothing to do with your drug addiction or alcoholism.

• Tell them not to feel ashamed. Your kids may feel embarrassed or ashamed because of your addiction.  Help them see that addiction is an illness and not a personal choice that someone makes.

• Tell them it is OK to feel angry. Your children may feel a profound sense of disappointment in you because of your addiction.  This can quickly lead to feelings of anger and frustration over the matter.  Take the time to explain to them that the anger they are feeling is completely natural and that they should feel free to talk openly about it.   Suggest a counseling program for the children of addicts such as Alateen.

• Ask them to help out. Addiction recovery is going to take a great deal of your time and energy.  That can put a tremendous amount of pressure on your spouse or significant other.  Ask your children to help pitch in around the house while you are in detox or attending counseling.   This will help keep your family healthy AND make the kids a more active part of your recovery process.

• Talk to your kids about drugs and alcohol. Finally, take as much time as you can to discuss the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse to your children.   Although you may not have set the best example for them in the past - you still have the opportunity to improve their lives as they get older.

If you have a family member who is fighting an addiction, contact a drug rehab program in your area and learn how they can help restore their health and rebuild the bonds between children, parents and siblings.

More and more young people are using prescription painkillers such as Vicodin and OxyContin as a recreational drug.  They use these painkillers for their euphoric effects and obtain them by any all means necessary.  

The problem is that buying prescription medications online, or from a drug dealer can get expensive.  Obtaining medication on the black market can cost several dollars a pill, which adds up fast when the individual develops a tolerance to the drug and must begin to take more and more of them in order to obtain the desired effect.

What’s most frightening about this trend is that when young people run out of money and pills, they turn to a similar drug, priced well within their budget - heroin.

Many people do not realize that heroin provides an effect very similar to Vicodin and other doctor-prescribed painkillers.  Once addicts learn about the similarities, they will begin taking heroin in order to get their “fix.”

This is dangerous for several reasons:

• Heroin can come to the user in stronger-than-expected or contaminated doses which may lead to overdose and even death.
• Heroin, when taken using a needle can expose the individual to a variety of deadly diseases such as HIV, AIDS or Hepatitis.
• Heroin carries with it a social stigma that carries many young people away from their family and friends and into a downward spiral that can destroy what should be the happiest years of their life.

For all these reasons, plus myriad more, contact a drug rehab facility in your area if you are taking prescription painkillers and cannot stop.