Codependency Versus Enabling: What’s the Difference in Drug Addiction Recovery?
‘Codependent’ and ‘enabling.’ These two terms are none too pleasant for those who stand by their addicted loved ones. Spouses are often placed in the tough position of having to decide how they’re going to handle the addiction of a loved one. If this describes you and you decide to stay with your addicted loved one, you have a choice to make: will you be codependent or will you be an enabler?
Since your loved one is powerless over his or her addiction, it stands to reason that you certainly are, too. Those who don’t opt to file for divorce or at least initiate a separation pending drug and alcohol addiction treatment will have to decide how it is that they will handle their loved one’s active addiction.
How an Enabler Worsens a Loved One’s Drug and Alcohol Addiction
In the briefest terms, an enabler may not like his or her spouse’s addiction but will still continue to give them money to buy their drugs or cover for them when they make mistakes due to their addiction. An enabling spouse makes sure that their addicted loved one never has to deal with the consequences of his or her addiction, which means that they can go on indefinitely abusing drugs and alcohol without really ever having a reason to get drug treatment.
The Meaning of Codependency
Codependent spouses are not necessarily enablers. They have to walk a very fine line, learning how to be there for their addicted loved one emotionally without making it easy for them to continue abusing drugs and alcohol. This can be a hugely difficult prospect. Addicted spouses will yell and demand that their spouse give them or do for them whatever they feel that they need to get more drugs or cover up their behavior. A codependent may let their spouse know that they are loved no matter what but will not call into work and lie saying that their loved one is sick when they’re really high or give them money for illicit drugs. They will prioritize their own health and wellbeing over their spouse’s addiction and make sure to spend time with friends, get to doctor’s appointments, and not allow their addicted loved one’s issues to overwhelm them emotionally.
Help for Codependency and Enabling within a Loved One’s Drug Addiction
It’s important for those who tolerate a loved one’s ongoing addiction to make sure that they always have support in order to maintain perspective. It’s easy to get sucked into a spouse’s addiction and lose sense of your priorities. Support groups, therapy, non-addicted friends – all these people can help you to stand strong and remain committed.
Don’t give up on the idea of getting your spouse into drug rehab. It’s the only thing that will help. Choose one that includes a family therapy option and you can even begin the process of healing your marriage at the same time. Contact us today at Michael’s House for more information on how we can help your spouse fight drug addiction – and win.
