Covering Up a Loved One’s Addiction
You’ve had a suspicion that your teenager has been using drugs and alcohol. Today you found the evidence to confirm it. But you don’t want to upset your spouse with the news right now. You’d rather handle this on your own, just keeping it between you and your teen.
While this might seem like the best way to keep things calm in your family, you might be stirring up more trouble down the road. Consider these compelling reasons to get your teen’s drug and alcohol troubles out in the open.
Trust Within Your Marriage And Family
This a big secret – a really big one. Teen drug use is a huge deal, and anyone who really needs to know should know. Both parents (and any step-parents) need to be informed about this, even if they aren’t able to directly participate much in the teen’s life.
If you cover this up, you undermine the trust in your marriage. You may also bring down your teen’s chances of actually getting better. Get through the uncomfortable part, get the truth out, then work from there.
Open Communication Improves Chance For Recovery
Your teen’s interest in drug use may have something to do with the way your family functions. Getting these problems out in the open may also help decrease your teen’s need to be intoxicated.
It’s important to use discretion when involving anyone in this type of situation. If you need to keep this from a family member who might do more harm than good with the information, then you may be doing the right thing. But for most marriages, keeping a divisive secret like this only makes things worse.
Drug addiction loves secrecy. It thrives on the power of shame and fear. When you anticipate speaking out about addiction to someone who should know, you might experience fear or stress. And if you respond to that fear by keeping the truth to yourself, the addiction wins every time. You have a lot more to gain by addressing an addiction together as a family.
When You Cover It Up You Remain In Denial
Covering up your loved one’s addiction can also indicate your own level of denial and minimization. It’s not really that bad. At least he came home last night. As long as I pick up the bottles or use air freshener, the rest of the family won’t really know what’s going on.
These are all dangerous little lies. If you hear these kinds of thoughts rolling through your mind, you are actually supporting the addiction instead of helping the person.
The best action you can take is to talk to someone in an Alanon group or to a mental health counselor. Let them help face your loved one’s addiction head-on. They can also help you get your family member started with drug rehab.
Help Your Loved One Start Drug Rehab
The most loving thing you can do for a person with an addiction is to help them start drug rehab. You may fear losing the relationship or hurting their feelings. But when you help your loved one get drug treatment, you give them the power to live a better life.
