Families With Addiction Need Support Too
Drug addiction is a disaster with many hidden casualties. It’s obvious to see the alcoholic with multiple DUI’s or the homeless drug addict getting arrested for stealing or assault. What you don’t often see are the suffering family members. They are worried and upset about their loved one’s addiction, but they also have their own pain. And since they aren’t the most obvious sufferer, they may not be sure what to do with themselves. Let’s take a look at why support for family members and significant others is so important.
Unpredictable Life With Drug Addict Or Alcoholic
Living with an alcoholic or drug addict can be very unpredictable. You may not be able to count on them for family meals, holiday gatherings, or being around for child supervision. They may or may not go to work when they need to, and they may break a lot of promises. It may feel like the family has another teenager to take care of instead of a functional adult.
Instead of having a capable parenting partner, the non-addicted spouse may learn to depend on others for child supervision. Instead of having an adult companion who can share the workload of a family, the non-addicted spouse may feel like a single parent. Marriages no longer seem balanced because the addicted person’s needs always seem to take precedence.
Choices Painful For Family Members
Parents and adult siblings of an addict can feel equally stressed. Addicts and alcoholics often come to family for favors, rides, money, food, and shelter. Since they spend so much of their time using and acquiring their drug of choice, family members often help out to keep some contact with their loved one.
The choices are all painful – refusing their requests or suggesting drug treatment could result in the addict rejecting the entire family. Giving in just allows the addiction to grow and flourish right in front of their eyes. Some families can become divided over this, with some members giving in and others drawing a clear line in the sand. All of this may seem to be all about the person’s addiction on the surface, but this conflict can damage family relationships for years. It becomes the big elephant in the living room – an obvious problem that nobody wants to talk about.
Support And Help For Families Of Alcoholic and Addicts
As you can see, families of alcoholics and drug addicts need a lot of support and help. They need to understand how to help their loved one without promoting the addiction any further. Families want so much to be useful and helpful, but much of the help they give creates more harm than good.
Support groups like Alanon can teach families about being truly helpful to a person with an addiction. They can also share their hurt, their confusion, their feelings of loneliness and betrayal. Family members don’t have to feel isolated and alone anymore when they try to survive their loved one’s addiction. Help and hope are available today.
