Saturday Night Live’s Darrell Hammond Talks Drug Addiction in New Memoir
The new memoir out by Saturday Night Live comedian Darrell Hammond, 
God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem, does a lot of dishing – mostly about the actor’s struggles with childhood abuse, crack addiction, and self mutilation.
In a recent interview on CNN.com‘s Red Chair, Hammond talked about some of his past experiences – past experiences that he attributes to the start of his drug addiction.
Hammond said that his father was a veteran who often had nightmares about the war: “My dad never really abused me… I was frightened to be around him.”
His mother, however, was extremely abusive. Hammond says: “My mom did things that have cost me dearly. Stabbing, beating, beating electrocuted…it was my mom.”
Hammond handled the pain of those early childhood experiences by trying to numb himself: “When I was 19 was the first time I ever cut myself. Over the years it became more habitual. I was never in a mental institution for a long time. I was in psych wards. I was diagnosed with everything from schizophrenia to multiple personality disorder. I was on seven medications at one time… soul-killing drugs.”
The actor said that not even the worst conditions at SNL were comparable to the hardships he experienced at home: “Performing with anthrax in the building is not nearly as difficult as performing in a home where you might get stabbed at night.”
SNL has played a part in Hammond’s illness – if as nothing more than a backdrop for his inner struggles. It was the setting where some of his issues played out, and people took steps to help him get the treatment he needed to heal. He says he was “taken to the psych ward the week I did the [Al] Gore debates. I believe that was when I was taken away in a straightjacket.”
Why would Hammond air his personal demons in the form of a memoir? He has beaten his drug addiction through extensive treatment and he’s ready to talk about what he went through, why he developed the problems he did, and how he fought back.
Says Hammond: “I don’t feel ashamed for falling down because I got hit by a mac truck. I kept trying to get back up and then I did.”
Hammond is taking strides to get his career back on track after all the publicity related to his mental health and addiction issues. He spent the summer in the starring role of Truman Capote in the one-man show, “Tru,” and works with Will Ferrell on the comedian’s Funny or Die website.
